


Invisible Tattoo

by Escalus



Series: Scott McCall's Shades-of-Gray Theater [2]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Episode: s03e01 Tattoo, M/M, Moral Ambiguity, Satire
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-31
Updated: 2017-03-31
Packaged: 2018-10-13 07:01:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10508703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Escalus/pseuds/Escalus
Summary: In a continuation of Scott McCall Shades-of-Gray Theater, our troupe decides to take on Episode 3x01 "Tattoo."   In the troupe's quest to make Scott less morally bland, we change his behavior for this episode.





	

The Narrator flounces onto the stage with an awkward pirouette. He looks exactly as he did at the end of season two except he has these ridiculous boots on that go up to his knees. They’re flashy, but they don’t match the rest of his outfit at all.

He bows to your applause. “Once again, we here at Scott McCall’s Shades-of-Gray Theater are proud to present another story designed to address our beloved fan’s belief that Scott McCall is a boring pinhead because he sees the world in black-and-white terms rather than through the benevolent lens of moral ambiguity.”

“This time our story starts at the beginning of junior year. We aim to be a little more subtle than our last outing, where we turned Scott into someone willing to murder people to get revenge on those who hurt him and to insure the security for the people closest to his heart.”

“Please remember that each story in the Scott McCall’s Shades-of-Gray Theater stands on its own, because if we actually applied this new moral attitude to the entire story of our hero, it would be unrecognizable! Enjoy!”

&&&&&&&&&&&&

“You painted the door.” Scott couldn’t make sense of that fact. He knew that people thought he was stupid, but it was obvious to him that something was going on, even if it wasn't to Stiles. If Derek wasn’t living here anymore and the county had reclaimed it, why would the alpha go through all the trouble of painting it? “Why’d you paint the door? And why on only one side?”

“Go home, Scott,” Derek called from where he was tending to Isaac. The words carried both an exasperated command and a plea. 

Scott paused for a moment and then waved back at the pair of them. “Okay! See you later then! See you at school, Isaac! Come on, Stiles.”

Scott jumped off the porch and headed toward the jeep, with Stiles following closely behind him. Stiles had that agitated look on his face which he always got when he wanted to talk about something, but he didn’t know quite how to bring it up. Stiles was very good at not talking about his emotions, but he was never very good at hiding that he had them. He had so many of them all the time that it was easy to miss one if you didn’t pay enough attention, and he used that when deflecting.

“What, Stiles?” Scott stopped half way to the jeep. If Stiles didn’t get the chance to talk about it now, there would be little chance of them talking about it later. He had to act when Stiles wanted to talk about it.

“You’re not the least bit curious about the door?” Stiles asked carefully.

“Oh, yeah, I’m curious. But I also know that in the end, it’ll be better for me and for you if I don’t know what he painted over.” Scott snorted. “This time, I’m going to let Derek keep his secrets. It’s the first day of school and I’ve already missed a day's classes for this shit.”

“So you’re guessing that it has something to do with when you tried to save Isaac …”

“Actually, I did help save Isaac. That alpha would have been long gone before Derek got there if I hadn’t slowed him down. But what’s the difference?” He often had to remind Stiles that just because Stiles treated him like an incompetent buffoon, he wasn’t. Stiles often pumped up his fragile ego at Scott’s expense.

“You know what I mean.” Stiles replied, exasperated.

‘Yeah. They’re obviously connected. Some werewolf bullshit is coming for Derek and his pack, because that is just what this town needs, more werewolf bullshit. The same werewolf bullshit which is one of the reasons I am not in his pack and I won’t ever be in his pack.” 

Stiles ventured carefully. “You know, being in a pack wouldn’t necessarily be a bad thing. “

“If you take a good look at it, I’m pretty much thinking that it has to be a good thing not to be in a pack! But don’t just take my word for it.” Scott snorted. “Maybe you should ask Erica and Boyd that – wait, no, you can’t!” He shook his head. “Or maybe you should ask Isaac once he recovers from near fatal wounds and mysterious amnesia?” 

Scott started moving back towards the jeep. “I know, I know, being an omega is supposed to be a freaking death sentence. But I also remember who the people are who told me that. First, there was Victoria Argent, while she was trying to kill me. Before that, it was Derek Hale who wanted me to join his pack so I could help him kill other people. And before that, it was Peter, who wanted me to join his pack so I could help him kill other people when he wasn’t trying to kill me.” 

They tromped through the grass and underbrush back towards the road. 

“I don’t need a pack. All I need is you.” Scott reached the jeep and pulled open the passenger-side door. “You’re the only one who’s actually helped me deal with this shit. So don’t go selling yourself short now.”

Stiles got into the driver’s side. “I actually haven’t, you know.”

Scott scrunched up his face as he slid in. “Haven’t what?” 

“Sold myself short. I already know what’s going on.” Stiles had a look on his face that was half-proud and half-worried.

“Stiles, I know you’re cleverer than me, but how could you possibly figure out what is going on …” Scott trailed off because he already knew where this was going.

“There’s an alpha pack. It’s a pack of alphas see … “ Stiles began lamely.

Scott slammed his fist into the dashboard of the jeep so hard it cracked. He was so angry that Stiles thought he was somehow immune to the consequences of his actions. “How do you know?”

“Hey, dude, my jeep!” He scowled at Scott and Scott scowled right back him. “I have been kind of working with Derek over the summer to find Erica and Boyd. They were captured by the alpha pack.”

“When? Why?” Scott demanded. “Are you nuts?”

“You were busy, so I thought I could do something!” Stiles made it sound like this was a perfectly reasonable idea. 

“Dude, I went to summer school; I wasn’t cloistered!” Scott took a few deep breathes to get his anger under control. Leave it to Stiles to blame his boredom on Scott; sometimes it felt like Stiles thought that Scott was his manservant. “You understand that I actually spend less time at school during the summer than I do in the regular year. And while I’m working some extra hours at the animal clinic, it’s not that much more. It’s not like we don’t see each other like all weekend and like two or three nights a week?” 

“Why do you care if I was helping Derek look for Erica and Boyd?” Stiles was on the defensive now, because he knew that ‘you were busy’ was a lame excuse.

Scott knew that Stiles was cleverer than he was by far, but he also knew that cleverness was not exactly common sense and it didn’t automatically come equipped with a self-preservation instinct. “I don’t know, maybe it is because they were captured by whatever the fuck an alpha pack is!” Scott shouted at Stiles, punching the dashboard once again – though this time careful not to use too much strength – to punctuate the sentence. “You know -- werewolves? Claws? Teeth? Urges to kill? These werewolves probably think by now that you’re one of Derek’s pack if you’ve been helping them look for his betas. How have you been helping him look for Erica and Boyd?”

Stiles looked hurt; Scott didn’t care, because this shit was where he drew the line. Stiles’ insecurities could drive him up the wall and Scott would deal with it, but he could only do that if Stiles was still breathing. 

“I do have contacts in the police station, and I’ve been looking into leads with Derek and Isaac and … Peter.” That last one came out as more of a sub-vocal squeak.

This time Scott did crack the dashboard again. “What?” Stiles had spent his summer working with an undead psychopath.

“I’m not useless!” protested Stiles, trying to switch the conversation away from Scott’s hatred of anything to do with Peter.

“Well, I’ll certainly have them put that on your goddamn tombstone! Mieczyslaw “Stiles” Stilinski Born 1995, Died 2011. He Wasn’t Fucking Useless.” Scott growled at him from across the front seat. “You know there’s a range of states between ‘useless’ and ‘stupid enough to take sides in a werewolf territorial pissing match!’” 

“Dude, don’t hit my jeep anymore. And they don’t want territory. They want Derek to kill his own pack and join them.” 

Scott’s eyes bugged out of his head. “You enormous dumbass. That’s it. You’re done.” 

“You don’t get to tell me what to do. You aren’t my alpha!” Stiles shouted at him. Scott screwed up his face, because it almost seemed like Stiles was saying that Derek was his alpha. Stiles, who barely listened to his own father, was now taking orders from Derek? It stretched credulity, which had been one of the words of the day last week, along with 'cloistered.'

“I don’t? Well, that’s right. I can’t tell you what to do. I do know what I can do, however. I can walk my ass straight down to the sheriff’s station and tell him everything – including the fact that Derek Hale is such an enormous buttmunch that he’d allow a teenager with no combat training get involved in a monster skirmish.” 

“I’ll never talk to you again.” Stiles threatened loudly. It was a good threat, but it was wasted this time.

Scott roared back. “Fine. You’ll also never talk to me again if you’re dead!” 

The silence after the shouting left a ringing in their ears. Miles passed until they were sitting in front of Scott’s house.

“I’m so mad at you.” Stiles said in the gathering gloom of twilight.

“Like I give a fuck,” Scott retorted. He held up his right hand, palm pointed up. “Stiles hates me but is alive.” He held up his left hand, also with the palm pointed up. “Stiles is dog chow.” He moved them both up and down as if weighing them. “We have a winner, ladies and gentlemen! Stiles does what will keep him alive, or I tell his dad.”

Stiles juts out his lower jaw. “You don’t care that Erica and Boyd were taken?” 

“I do care but not enough to risk my life for them. According to Derek, they knew what they were getting into, whatever that means. I only know that I’m a high-school junior, and my sophomore year was destroyed by this shit. I’ve seen people cut in half with a sword, Stiles, and I know that I can survive being hit by a truck. I’d rather not have someone try to kill me again, at least before I’m legal to drink booze.”

“Don’t you think that you have a responsibility …?”

“Not this shit again; Peter Hale wasn’t a radioactive spider. I actually get to have a life, and I did my part for the greater good. Would you please stop trying to turn this into my superhero origin story? I’m not fucking Batman.“ Scott turned to look at him. “Is this what you helping Derek is all about? Is this the same bullshit about not being Robin all the time?”

“You’re mixing comic book companies again. You know I hate it when you do that.” That was true. Stiles Stilinski was a comic book purist.

“And you’re deflecting. I asked you if this is about you wanting to feel special. I keep telling you that all of this doesn’t feel special, it’s a fucking weight around my neck, but you don’t believe me. If you’re so into it, why don’t you have Derek bite you, then you can go play Werewolf Avenger all night long. Or at least until this new group of assholes kills you.” 

Stiles muttered toward him. “I don’t want to be a werewolf. I’m supposed to be human. But that’s not why …”

“No. You don’t. You just want to tell me how to be a werewolf. “ Scott growled at him. It was true; Stiles had this habit of expecting everyone to follow his intuitions, even when he had no idea what he was doing. “So, if that’s not it, why?”

“I think I like Derek.” Stiles blushed like a schoolgirl.

“You like Derek.” Scott nodded as if he understood, but he was really just stunned. It made some sort of strange sense, even with Stiles’ fifteen year plan for winning Lydia’s heart. Stiles aimed for the unattainable. “Okay. So, does Derek like you?”

“I think so?” Stiles shrugged. 

“I hope he’s done more than throw you into walls and bounce your head off of the steering wheel to give you that impression, because, anime aside, that’s the opposite of actually liking you.” 

“Yeah. We haven’t actually talked about it, but I think he does like me.”

Scott shook his head. “Are you sure?” 

“Pretty sure. Mostly sure. Ninety percent sure. Ninety-five percent sure.” 

“So. Let me get this straight. After that huge speech at the end of last year, where ‘I still had you,’ you ran off during the summer to woo Derek Hale, to search for missing teenagers, and to get involved with a werewolf war, and you didn’t think that you should tell me any of that. We hung out all the while you were having this invisible life.”

“Pretty much.” Stiles didn’t seem to be ashamed of it. “I don’t have to run my life decisions past you.”

“Well then, go have fun.” Scott got out of the car. “Obviously, you think you’ve got a handle on this, so you go get involved with whatever the fuck you want to get involved with. I’ll start writing up your eulogy.”

“You aren’t going to tell my dad?” Stiles called out.

“I may be many things, but I’m not a hypocrite. You think this is your way to win Derek’s heart? Fine. But that as far as I’ll go with the comparison to Allison. She had no idea about her family’s history when we first started dating.” He waved his hand. “I’ll keep this secret, but I’m not getting involved in this to jump start your love life.” 

Scott walked into his house. He felt only a little bad about it, but he wanted to finish Heart of Darkness tonight.

&&&&&&&&&&&&

“No, no, no!” shouted the Narrator. “That’s a really boring ending!”

The Narrator blushed and stammered on the stage. “I have to apologize for the players tonight. You see, I just realized that if Scott put his own life first in Tattoo there wouldn’t be much of a story for the rest of the season.”

“I mean, what would happen if this scene was the way the story was told? Cora and Boyd would just die in a bank vault by themselves!” The Narrator started pacing up and down the stage. “Well, we could salvage it by having Stiles think of going to Deaton for the ice bath sequence. And we can assume that Stiles would be able to persuade the veterinarian whom he’s barely talked to previously to help.” 

‘But that wouldn’t work either! Allison wouldn’t get involved without Scott. Lydia wouldn’t get involved without Allison. This meant that Derek, even if Stiles managed to solve it without Scott’s help, would have entered the bank vault by himself. We’re assuming, of course, that Derek’s isn’t that much of an ass that he would take Stiles with him into that dangerous a situation. And if Stiles did go, he wouldn’t have figured out with Peter about the hecatolite. Even BAMF Stiles can’t be in two places at once.”

“Without Allison to break the mountain ash circle, we have two possibilities. First, Derek kills Boyd and Cora. Yeeesh. Second, Boyd or Cora kill Derek and then one of them kills the other. Double yeeesh. Why, it seems that _it is important to the entire story if Scott has a moral code that impels him to get involved_ , unless we want the villains to totally win.”

The Narrator gets pelted with rotten tomatoes. “Hey! Hey! I didn’t say we were going to be perfect. At least we managed to shoe horn in the beautiful fandom idea that Stiles worked with Derek over the summer without telling Scott a single thing about the alpha pack … ever.”

“We will certainly try better next time. Maybe we’ll just shift focus to Chaos Rising.” The Narrator frantically tries to keep the audience from leaving. 

“On the other hand, at least Scott got a B in English!”

**Author's Note:**

> If it seems like I am making fun of fandom headcanons and attitudes, it is because I am. That's what satire is for, folks!


End file.
